a beautiful life

My dining room is a sort of shrine to Emily’s wedding. Four large, framed photos stand like soldiers on my table reminding me she is a new bride.

Do you remember I said I wouldn’t talk about it until I was ready? Well, it’s been nearly a month and I’m still weirdly emotional. One of my dear friends said to me, “Goodness, it’s not like she’s dead…”

Oh, I know. But I miss her. And I’m still not settled from it all somehow.

It was all so beautiful. And she is so beautiful.

I do miss her. But I also feel my life slowly turning another direction. We only have one more child at home. And she’s not even at home. She’s our little butterfly, Sara, flitting across the campus down at UT. Gradually though, there is this white space opening up in my heart and mind. Like the sun pulling back a large misty cloud across the city skyline, I feel more clarity. I take deep breaths. I count all my blessings. And I remind myself: Things are always changing.

Confession: I am not a good changer. I like patterns that repeat. Places where I can sit still. And lots of time for understanding things. I am a slow learner.

I cry every time I watch this wedding trailer. With a big, unmanaged, grateful heart, I cry. Because hiding beneath every change, is a deeply beautiful life.

In every transition, isn’t God good?

And I love how Laura Lee captured this for the slow-learner-mama in me.

Beautiful bridal photography by Kate Stafford