dear daughters (on keeping Valentine’s Day simple)

Dear daughters,

Just between you and me, Valentine’s Day … meh.

I’ll take any assortment of regular days with your dad over the hype and expectation of Valentine’s Day.

As a young bride, I held so many expectations on this day. Gracious, there was all kinds of stuff going on in my head about what he should or shouldn’t do to be the best kind of Valentine. I conjured up various super romantic gestures for him to express his love for me. It always involved flowers. Lots of flowers.


And he had expectations too. His were more apparent, less complicated. But they were there.

We tripped and stumbled through many Valentine’s Day until we finally realized we were letting this one day get in the way of simply loving each other without expectations, without conditions.

I’m not faulting or bashing Valentine’s Day. I like hearts and chocolate. But it’s just a day. Like New Year’s Day or Fourth of July or National Pizza Day. It’s just one day in the year. One that’s not likely to hold any special power over a relationship that’s meant to last a lifetime.

The long term goal of marriage is to love, support and truly know each other. To be ‘naked without shame’ ~ emotionally, spiritually, physically. To be wholeheartedly committed to each other til death parts us.

That kind of love doesn’t allow itself to get tripped up over a dashed expectation created by retailers. Gracious.

Here’s a quick tip for you:

If you love roses, buy yourself roses. Or if you’re just dying for a special little trinket to slip on your wrist, save your pennies and buy it yourself.

But don’t hold silent expectations that on this one day your guy is suddenly going to mysteriously understand all your deepest romantic longings and become your Prince Charming by simply buying you jewelry and flowers.


Valentine’s Day is just a day like any other.

So drink coffee together on the front porch. Go for a walk in your neighborhood. Run some mindless errands together.

Hold hands. Say prayers. Give thanks.

Enjoy and appreciate each other like you did yesterday ~ and like you will tomorrow. Giving gratitude to God without reservation for every single day you have with each other.

And have a beautiful, ordinary and happy Valentine’s Day.