I don’t recall exactly what we were talking about that Saturday morning. For that matter, neither does my husband, Will, but both of us definitely remember the exact words I said at the end of the “disagreement.”
I looked at him across the kitchen table and said in all seriousness, “I think Satan is attacking our marriage.”
“Why?” he responded quizzically.
“Because,” I stated emphatically, “you are driving me crazy!”
Will tilted his head back and laughed . . . but I didn’t. I meant it. I felt he was pushing me to the utter limits of reason and marital civility. This man I love and have committed to live with forever was in the process of driving me absolutely insane!
If you have been married for even a short while, no doubt you can relate. And so here’s the question: What is it about marriage that seems to push us to the point of breaking? Why is marriage so much harder than anyone ever dared to imagine? And how could the one man that a woman loves most in the world end up becoming the one person she struggles to live in harmony with?
Many couples divorce because they’ve been pushed past the point of breaking, but ask any young bride just starting out if she wants a happy marriage and of course she’ll say yes. For the majority of women, a happy marriage is the dream of a lifetime.
And yet, how many marriages stall out in a “catatonic covenant”—doomed by relational wreckage because even trying to get along sends them into crazy land? You know, a lifetime of just getting by until “death do us part.” Kind of like some bizarre, silent agreement to hang on in torment “for as long as you both shall live.” This is not what little girls dream of when thinking of the one human relationship meant to fulfill the deepest longing of their hearts. Rather, a little girl grows into a woman with hopes of being loved and adored. She longs for an unconditional, loving relationship with her husband. A relationship built to stand strong in the inevitable storms of life, with a promise of more satisfying love waiting on the other side.
But for many, it seems as though these dreams leave us destitute on the altar of life, longing for more. As marriages fall apart and divorce rates climb, it would appear the dream is just that—a dream. Can a happy marriage be a reality in today’s society? And if so, how can couples accomplish this worthwhile goal?
The truth is, both husbands and wives know the reality: Marriage is the one of the hardest thing they have ever undertaken. And while it takes two to tango, this book is for the wives out there—for wives who realize that marriage takes effort. For wives who realize that marriage is complex and critical. Demanding and deserving. Exhausting and exhilarating. For wives who understand that marriage is worth the attention of a lifetime. And for wives willing to admit that there have been times in marriage when the very thing that has best communicated their true feelings about their husband is the phrase: “You’re driving me crazy!”
A woman needs to understand how to deal with the man she loves. She needs to know that just because her man might be driving her crazy, that doesn’t mean she can’t count on God to give her the marriage of her dreams – her very own “happily ever after.” No more monotonous monogamy! Instead, unlock the secrets to loving your man with your whole heart and your whole mind—”in holy matrimony, for as long as you both shall live.” Amen!