mid-life crisis?

Confession: I’ve been doing this weird wandering thing with my heart. I’ve driven all over the Austin area looking at property, scouring realty sites, moved mentally into homes that are not mine – like this cute, dilapidated farmhouse.
austin farmhouse

I told Will this must be some kind of mid-life crisis. I feel as though I’ve completely lost my writing mojo (I’ve posted here about twice this summer) and I’m constantly wondering if we’re supposed to move to the country and get some chickens. Or maybe baby goats. I imagine living in small town Texas, riding my blue bike to the grocery store. Things like that. And y’all, I’ve been living this strange illusion a solid two months.

But yesterday I met contentment. Her name is Lupee. She is the seamstress who is making alterations on Emily’s wedding gown. Lupee has lived in the same small house for 30 years. She is a mother and grandmother. Utterly charming. Listening to Lupee, I realized something important: I am doing what I do when life changes too fast for my mothering soul – I am looking for stability and place. In a sense, I am trying to find home.

Sitting with Lupee reminded me home isn’t a house, it’s people and passion and purpose. It’s God and family and friends. And I’ve got that. To the full. So I am going to cease all the wandering and settle into this season. Little prayers appreciated.