The Mom I Need to Be

My family just returned from vacation in Colorado.

Colorado is the state of a Ponderosa pine we call the ‘vanilla tree’

… cause if you get up real close and push your face in the bark, you’ll smell the cleanest, greenest vanilla on the planet.


… where the sky is an undiluted blue and clouds gather daily in gorgeous display.

The place where we porch sit to excess, staring at the Front Range … wondering out loud about the weather.

And Colorado … now the new home to our oldest, Will 3. He’s there permanently. Forever. Amen. No longer a Texan. Now a Coloradoan … Coloradan?  I don’t know for sure. There seems to be debate.

But one thing that’s no longer up for debate is that our Texas born and raised son (a Texan and an Austinite at that!) is staying in Colorado. Forever. And ever. And ever.

Our oldest, Will 3, with our youngest, Sara, this summer at Camp Timberline.

I don’t have to tell you that when we drove away and I watched the Front Range in the rear view mirror, deep in my mother heart, I had that aching, awful feeling of letting go.

Oh … it still takes my breath away.

But I want him happy. And Colorado makes him happy.

When I hugged him good-bye, I spoke words over him. Not my words … because they would have been ridiculously emotional. Instead, I spoke something non-emotional and powerful. This is what I said:

May he grant your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans.

And I meant it. Because truth of truth, I want him to have the desires of his heart. And I want God to fulfill all his plans.  No matter the state. No matter the miles.

And now prayers to be the mom I need to be … because sometimes, it’s really hard. *tear*

{Need courage with your kids? This one will help … }