Unbecoming :: simple thanksgiving
God’s been kicking me in the butt a little about my attitude. Not in a mean way at all. Just in a what are you thinking way … where is your faith way … don’t you remember all we’ve been through way. That kind of way. And it’s been hard.
As a matter of fact, right before I started 31 days of simple thanksgiving ~ I didn’t feel particularly grateful at all. I felt dead to gratitude. Lifeless toward my obvious abundance.
When I realized that, it crushed me. I cried with Jesus over my empty perspective. And I actually considered writing 31 days of unbecoming in October. Unbecoming selfish, unrealistic, emotional, self-protective, materialistic, busy, jealous, worried, ungrateful. The list goes on and on. Super sunshiny, huh?
I just wanted you to know that the good news girl ain’t always busting up with fabulous. If there is a bit of encouragement here, it’s because Jesus is overwhelming my natural tendencies. My overriding inclinations. To be able to talk about gratitude and loving people and life ~ it’s because of him. Not me.
Last week, Will and I were looking out the patio window and noticed this Rose of Sharon that popped up in the backyard. I bet we’ve chopped that thing down three or four times. But it just keeps pushing itself out of the dark ground, quiet like. Then jumps up and startles us with a gorgeous bloom. Even though we’re in the middle of a record drought and even though we’ve chopped it down again and again ~ it reaches upward, smiling at the sunshine. All alive and grateful.
Standing there in my pajamas taking a picture of that rogue rose, I felt gratitude creep back in unexpected. Pushing itself out of the dark ground, quiet like.
And I smiled … deeply thankful for all I am unbecoming.
And for gratitude that blooms unexpected.
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