Currently, I am up to my ears gathering dorm supplies for my youngest who goes to college in two weeks. Yep, just two short weeks. I am happy to say I was holding it together pretty well with the exception of this one breakdown.
And then oh, there was a little meltdown last night. Tears and dizzying conversations. And more tears. (Mine … not hers.)
It made me wish for the good old days. When she was little.
When she was little, she was the one that always kept close. In proximity and conversation. She was the one to sit on the kitchen stool, braids falling over her small shoulders, face bright and animated, talking. She had so many words when she was little. Endless talking ~ telling me every detail in her whole day. To think, all those words used to wear me out.
I found myself quite lonely for those words last night. And lonely for those ‘old’ days. And I had this overwhelming desire to turn back, wish back …
But then out of nowhere, Truth stepped up. A verse I memorized years ago, stood brave and tall like a soldier ready for war.
Don’t long for “the good old days.” This is not wise.
My soul took teary notice. Why is this not wise? What the big deal wishing for the good old days?
So I decided to do a little digging around this morning. I do not like what I found.
- Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary: It is folly to cry up the goodness of former times; as if former ages had not the like things to complain of that we have: this arises from discontent, and aptness to quarrel with God himself.
- Wesley’s notes: This is an argument of a mind unthankful for the many mercies …
Discontent? A mind unthankful? An aptness to quarrel with God himself? Really?
Oh, gracious. Will I ever learn?
But yes. Once again, I see the enemy’s advertisement in my mind. A big billboard, images of ‘good old days.’ This time it was my Sara sitting at the kitchen counter at eight years old. All adorable in her braids. And a much younger me cooking dinner, feeling important and needed. But in reality, it’s discontentment all over again. Making me feel like I don’t have what I really want today. That I don’t have what I need the most today.
Not buying it this time.
This time, I’ll turn this around and agree with Truth. No wallowing in the ‘good old days.’ No turning back, wishing back but instead marching forward. Because today is the day God has made and it’s one worth rejoicing in. Though I have not discovered today’s gladness, it’s out there hiding somewhere. And I’m gonna find it.
Won’t you join me?