Wherefore Art Thou Romeo?

“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” You probably recognize that line from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet – certainly one of the most romantic love scenes in history. But if you’re married, you just might be wondering to yourself where that Romeo like figure is in your life. It’s not at all unusual to get married, mark a couple of anniversaries and then realize the romance quotient in the relationship has slipped out the door.

For many women, that feeling is especially keen at Valentine’s Day. It’s easy to let those expectations get high when you realize your husband has been bombarded by Valentine commercials. You imagine that the advertising is making an impact on him (like it is on you) and that he’ll surprise you with something unbelievably fabulous. You think surely all those ads will imprint his brain and it will translate into thoughtfulness come February 14th.

Well, just in case you find yourself on the balcony of reality still calling out for your Romeo come February 15th – I want to offer some tips for the real life Juliet.

Don’t get sucked into what culture says romance looks like. The best kind of romance is the original kind that is uniquely representative of your relationship. For one couple that might mean wine and roses. For another it might mean watching the Super Bowl together. Be willing to redefine romance based on the personality of your own marriage.

Celebrate your own love story. Every couple has a distinct story. The story includes characters (you and your husband), a setting (the place you call home), and dialogue (the tender talk of love in the marriage). Take a minute to consider your relationship from a third person perspective and realize that a love story is unfolding – yours. It’s full of ups and downs – and better and worse. Remember all good love stories have many twists and turns but it’s holding on to the end that makes it really romantic.

Finally, remember the best things in life are free. That would include unconditional love, commitment til death do us part, and life companionship.

It’s in remembering that you will find yourself blessed by that man you chose to marry. When you reflect with gratitude at the gift of your marriage, you’ll feel blessed with the best. And it’s then that you will become a real life Juliet exclaiming to your real life Romeo, “Take all myself!”