Understanding Identity | Suzanne Stabile | Dear Daughters 45

The Enneagram is a tool that awakens our compassion for people just as they are, not the people we wish they would become so our lives would become easier. ~ The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery

As we continue diving into these questions surrounding vocation, identity and God’s plans for our lives, it just seemed right to explore the Enneagram so I called in an expert.

Suzanne Stabile has taught over five hundred Enneagram workshops over the last twenty-five years. She has written two books on the subject, hosts The Enneagram Journey podcast, and continues to teach on the subject at events on a regular basis.

In addition to all of this, Suzanne also coached high school and college women’s basketball coach, taught senior theology, started a social services program for the elderly, and raised four children. She lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband, Joe, where they run the ministry they started together in 1985, Life in the Trinity Ministry, and chase around their seven (soon to be eight!) precious grandbabies.

So glad to have you join us as we explore the Enneagram. Hereโ€™s the interview on Dear Daughters Podcast Episode 45.


Suzanne actually feels strongly and negatively about Enneagram tests because prior to 1974, it had been an oral tradition taught for 3,000 years by spiritual directors who would only teach you about your number to help you be the healthiest, holiest version of yourself to help the world. Suzanne is hesitant about online tests because in her experience, your Enneagram number is determined by your motivation for your behaviors, not just your behaviors, which is what some tests primarily emphasize.

When Suzanne is asked, “What’s dangerous about the Enneagram?” she answers ~> people take it too seriously. It’s just one spiritual tool. It’s a good one, but it’s just one.

The Enneagram is the best tool I know at defining how people see the world. ~ Suzanne Stabile

There are Three Centers of Intelligence: Thinking, Feeling, and Doing (or Head, Heart and Gut).

The Breakdown of the Triads: Thinking/Head (5,6,7) Feeling/Heart (2,3,4)ย Doing/Gut (8,9,1)

We can’t read someone else’s motivation, we can only see their behavior. So if we’re trying to assign someone a number, we’re just using what we can see, but not what actually what is going on inside them to understand who they are. ~ Susie Davis

We all have our own wisdom and it’s given to us for ourselves and for the common good. ~ Suzanne Stabile

What keeps us, in part, from good discernment about what’s ours to do is being ineffective in working with relationships, because they become such a distraction when we don’t understand what’s happening between us and the people we work with, and the people we love. In the chaos of that distraction, we can no longer hear that still, small voice that leads us to do the next right thing. ~ Suzanne Stabile

If you don’t understand how God made you, you can just get lost in the sea of vocation. ~ Susie Davis

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โ€ฆ grateful, grateful for Davis sharing their music for the DD Podcast. :)